Differentiation of Self Test
Differentiation of self is your ability to stay yourself, with your own thoughts, feelings and choices, while staying emotionally connected to the people close to you. It is the central idea of Bowen Family Systems Theory. This free 15-question test gives you an overall score from 0 to 100 plus three dimension scores: emotional reactivity, I-position and fusion with others.
- 15 questions
- About 5 minutes
- Free, no sign-up
- Answers stay on your device
Answer based on how you usually are, not how you wish you were. There are no right or wrong answers.
What this test measures
- Emotional reactivity
- How much your emotions drive your decisions and reactions. A higher score means you can pause and think.
- I-position
- Your ability to state your own thoughts, beliefs and limits, even when others disagree.
- Fusion with others
- How much you lose yourself in relationships. A higher score means you keep your own center.
How the test works
This is the same assessment used in chapter 2 of the Inherited Dynamics app. Its 15 statements cover three dimensions of differentiation described in Bowen theory and used in research instruments such as the Differentiation of Self Inventory (Skowron & Friedlander, 1998): emotional reactivity, I-position and fusion with others. The statements themselves are our own.
You answer on a 6-point scale. Each dimension is scored from 0 to 100, and the overall score weights them roughly equally (34/33/33). 0–40 is lower, 41–70 moderate and 71–100 higher differentiation.
This is an educational self-reflection tool, not a validated clinical instrument. Your answers are scored in your browser and are not sent or stored anywhere.
Sources
- Kerr, M. E., & Bowen, M. (1988). Family Evaluation: An Approach Based on Bowen Theory. W. W. Norton.
- Bowen, M. (1978). Family Therapy in Clinical Practice. Jason Aronson.
- Skowron, E. A., & Friedlander, M. L. (1998). The Differentiation of Self Inventory: Development and initial validation. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 45(3), 235–246.
Frequently asked questions
What is differentiation of self?
Differentiation of self is the ability to stay yourself, with your own thoughts, feelings and choices, while staying emotionally connected to others. Murray Bowen, who developed Family Systems Theory, saw it as the key factor in how people handle stress and relationships. Someone with low differentiation tends to either merge with others (fusion) or pull away from them (cutoff).
What are signs of low differentiation of self?
Common signs include your mood depending on others’ approval, difficulty saying no, adopting a partner’s opinions, needing frequent reassurance, reacting strongly to criticism, and either clinging to or cutting off from family when things get tense.
What does a high differentiation of self look like?
A well-differentiated person can hear criticism without falling apart, disagree with someone they love without anxiety or guilt, state their position calmly, and stay close to family without getting pulled into old roles. It does not mean being distant or unemotional.
Can you improve your differentiation of self?
Yes. Bowen believed differentiation can grow throughout life. Practical steps include noticing your emotional reactions before acting on them, stating your own position (“I think…”, “I’m not willing to…”), and staying in contact with family while practicing not getting pulled into triangles.
Is this test a diagnosis?
No. It is an educational self-reflection tool, not a diagnosis or a validated clinical instrument. For a professional assessment, speak with a licensed therapist, ideally one trained in Bowen Family Systems Theory.